February is a nothing month. It can’t even get itself together to have enough days. When God dished out the months during Creation, February was at the back of the queue. It’s grey and miserable and causes depression.

There was January, right at the front, standing there with a swagger and a look that said, “look at me losers, I’m first. You all follow me,”

February, looked at January and held their head in shame. There was no way that they were ever going to be first.

Then there was March, March liked the fact that they were the first month of Spring. New life begins in March. Buds appear on trees, daffodils and tulips break through the earth bringing colour and heralding the warm day to come.

February looked at March and felt even colder and miserable than they already were.

April was pleased with the fact that they could take over the baton from March. Sure March had done well with all that budding and stuff, but it was no match for what April could do. Animals came out of isolation, migrating birds came to welcome the warmer month. Leaves appeared on the trees covering their twisted branches in a canopy of green foliage. Yes, April looked pretty smug!

February couldn’t help comparing its drabness with the colours of April and sighed!.

“Hooray,” said May, “Look at me!l Everyone loved May. May was the beginning of celebration. Winter had passed. The first harvests were in and people celebrated the coming of hot, lazy days in the summer. Children danced around Maypoles. Dictators showed off their military hardware. This was a month where people felt good about themselves.

February looked at May and wondered why people were never cheerful when February was around.

June was the first summer month. The month of picnics and exploring the world outdoors. Long walks through forests and paddling in rivers. The air was full of song as birds took to the skies and rose through the thermals. There they would reach the soft, white fluffy clouds that cast their shadows on the fields of crops below.

February looked to the ground and instinctively shuffled it”s feet.

July, the start of the holiday season, dragged the sun loungers out after the winter break, and prepared for the sun worshippers to descend on the beach. People ate al fresco. Picnics were being consumed on blankets spread on the floor. Barbecues made the most of the long summer days.

February hated the fact that no one ate outdoors in February.

August was long, hot and lazy. People chilled during the warm days. They took it easy. This was the month where people counted their blessings. They got married. They enjoyed the last days of summer while they still could.

No one enjoyed February, a fact that February knew only too well.

September as well as being the first month of autumn was also the first month of the academic year. This gave September a superiority complex. September looked down on all the other months, especially the three that preceded it, as September considered them frivolous. Children were not too keen on September as it meant going back to school. Parents loved September for precisely the same reason, September didn’t care what others thought. For September is September, Get over it.

February looked at September and felt stupid and insignificant.

October turned the trees red, orange and yellow and all the shades in between. People marvelled at how beautiful autumn was. The last harvests were gathered in and people thanked their creator for the goodness of the land and how they were all provided for.

Humph, February grumbled.

November was renowned for its strength. The winds blew the autumn colours from the trees and the warm temperatures started to drop.

The nights started to draw in and the people settled into a cosy existence, while November did its worst outside. Nobody minded too much. There were still blue skies and walks that ended with mulled wine in front of log fires.

February compared themselves to November and wished that they were also wild.

Everyone loves December. After all, December is Christmas and Christmas is December. There are presents and good food and parties and wine and merriment and good cheer and hope and optimism and something decent to watch on television.

February looked at December and was totally pissed off.

February decided to complain. They knocked on God’s door. When God didn’t answer they rang the doorbell. When God didn’t answer they rang God’s mobile number which went straight to voicemail. Eventually, in need of a response, February threw a brick through God’s window.

This got God’s attention and he opened the door.

“I want to feel special,” said February. Every other month of the year is special except for me!”

“Hmm!,” thought God. “Tell you what,” he said! “Every fourth year you can have an extra day.”

February was delighted with this. “And will that make me special,” February enquired.

“No,” said God, “people will just be pissed off with you for a little bit longer!”